moment to moment

8 Mar 2020


--In some moments I am so certain of particular sensations and emotions - they are irrefutable, have always existed, and will continue to exist for any foreseeable future.

--In another moment, they are no longer as certain. Or perhaps I travel back in time to when I was undecided. Or perhaps I travel forward in time to when my mind is made up to another sensation. My emotions and consciousness travel in this way.

--It makes my long-term continuous present feel very unstable, however. My body and spirit are very much in the present moment as my brain skips and leaps, leaving an unearthly and unnerving dissonance.

--Must I constantly question my present? Allowing doubts to creep into what I once knew to be fact? Or must I question my past as one unaware? Or must I question my future, thinking it holds unfounded bias about soon to be past-me?

--Constant flux, constant motion. A push and pull of the tide. A swelling and receding of the waves.

--It is still the ocean. It still has a home on the sand. --This is what I must tell myself.



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